Have you ever noticed that just when you think you’ve got your stuff figured out, boom – something comes around to test you when you thought you’d healed in that realm?

This is because the nature of healing is actually a spiral, rather than a line. You’ve heard it before – ‘healing is not linear’ .

You might be thinking THAT thing again?!? It can be frustrating and demoralizing to be STILL (or AGAIN)  working on that thing that happened in your past. 

But here’s the thing – This is an upward spiral – not a downward spiral. If you are someone who is intentional about healing, truly dedicated to living a better life, to really knowing yourself – then this spiral is on an upward trajectory. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. 

Let’s say you have a repeating pattern. Something in a relationship that is not working for you. You get some therapy, you read some books, but low and behold you find yourself AGAIN in a similar dynamic. Often times subsequent ‘episodes’ of these situations can feel less intense, like there’s been progress made since last time and so we can sense our evolution on that upward spiral. 

However, other times it can seem worse than before and then cause us to feel like we are regressing or not ‘getting anywhere’.

Here’s a few reasons why you might be experiencing it this way: 

1. Your level of consciousness has expanded making the pattern MORE uncomfy and therefore seem worse. When really you are just actually seeing it and feeling it MORE this time around. Greater awareness, making it more uncomfortable and then creating more motivation for change. That’s a good thing!
   
2. Each time we revisit a thing – our healing of it goes deeper  – another layer is released (kind of like an onion), and some of these deeper layers can feel more intense.
   
3. Emotional detox – Often when trauma is on the way out of your system, the intensity of emotion can increase temporarily. I call this emotional detox. If we can allow for this release and manage the detox symptoms, we often feel better quickly thereafter. 

But why do we have to revisit this stuff again and again?

Often we’re not ready for complete healing in one go – it’s too much to heal it all at once. We might be too young or not enough experience to be truly ready for the deepest healing. It would be overwhelming for our system. We might even have to let go of parts of our identity with these healings & that can take time and many tries to get right. If a change of identity happens too fast – it can be VERY destabilizing, and so this slower process of shedding these layers allows for a more sustainable evolution of our soul and psyche. 

Quick, dramatic healing

Now, you may have experienced very quick transformations. Often this will happen after years of doing the work. Perhaps you attended a self help or spiritual retreat or had what one might explain as an awakening experience. Sometimes when we have an ‘awakening’ experience – where bigger chunks of trauma are processed or where you see very clearly all of a sudden, it can actually feel like your life is falling apart. Like you’ve changed and don’t recognize yourself and then find your core relationships change, leaving you stunned and confused. This can be isolating and destabilizing.

Most of us on this path will have these moments of bigger transformation & change. They are unsettling and scary at times and yet on the other side if we have the capacity to reflect we can see the beauty of it all. 

Whatever the pace, if we can lean into the intelligence of source or the universe – if we can trust that timing is always perfect – it can make this process easier. 

Sometimes we just need a reminder, that we aren’t regressing. We’re just working our way up that spiral. 

If you are working through the messy spiral of healing & are looking for some help or guidance along that path, this is the work I do with my clients. Book in for a free 15 minute discovery call to see if I can help you along your path. 

Leave a comment if you can relate to the spiral of healing!